Being a Leader

Aleythia said something interesting today. She was explaining to one of my older sisters my character.
The main thing Aleythia said was that my character was why horses like me so much. She was talking about why I am the way I am. I'll try to explain and it will be hard because I'm so complicated (insert sarcasm).
When I want one of my sisters to do something I do it in two ways. I either command them to do it or I ask them to do it, leave, and trust that it will get done. I'm not really rude about either one. The main problem my sisters have is that I didn't say please. And believe me I know that commanding someone to do something does not make them like you much so I try not to do that around non-family members. Now the reason Aleythia said that my character was really good with horses was because with horses they don't really care if you coddle them or you raise your kids right. Her words not mine. They respect a leader that can move their feet and is confident. So when I ask my horses to do something I will expect them to do it, tell them to do it, then command them to do it. Aleythia said I also put a trust in my horses that she can't. She can't let go of a horse's reins and expect him to follow her.
That's what part of being a leader is about. Expecting something to get done (or at least try to get done) and Trust. It's a two way street. If you don't trust your horse he won't trust you.
You hear all these trainers say that to be the leader of your horse you need to get control of your horses feet. It's true, but I don't think that's all there is to it. You need to be patient, you need to be confident, you need expect results, and you need to trust.
You can have a horse that gets the pick of the food, is in the barn first, and can make everybody move, but isn't the leader. The other horses just avoid him.
I was reading an article Larry Trocha did and it said something about the above paragraph. He also said that the lead horse rarely has to reinforce his dominance. I see this with my barrel horse Santana. He is the leader of that herd. But he rarely goes and kicks the other horses. He doesn't have to.
I feel like I need to explain the expect results one though. If you ask your horse to do something he doesn't have to do it perfectly. All that matters is that he tries. As he learns what you want you can ask for more and expect more. Also your trusting does not have to be you doing foolish things. It can be as simple as what I did and expecting your horse to follow you on the ground. Or going on a trail ride. To help  your horse trust you, desensitize and get control of his feet.

Sorry if this all seems like a big mess,
Lydia Johnson